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POODLERAT NAMING CONTEST WINNER!!!!!!!

Ladies and Germs,
We have a winner for the PoodleRat naming contest. Thanks to all who entered. The names were all fabulous but after much deliberation and with the help of Winston the toad I have decided that the name Hipumquitch is the clear winner. It is a noble name and lengthy, hard to pronounce and unusual, and also impossible to shorten. PoodleRats dislike nicknames as they feel it robs a name of depth and meaning. So Hipumquitch it is and he is most welcome in the pantheon of glorious PoodleRats. Furthermore, this newly baptised PoodleRat will be making an appearance in the new book, “Feltus Ovalton and the Lost Warrior”.
A copy of “The Invention of Hugo Cabret” is winging its way to Thomas King (aged 11) in New Haven, Connecticut, as I write this.
Yay, Thomas!!!!!!!
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IS JESSICA SIMPSON THE NEW NABOKOV?

I don’t know much about Jessica Simpson, I admit. However I have picked up, by osmosis probably since I don’t own a television, that she is an actress of some sort; previously the star of a reality program and not considered to be the sharpest of wits. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she is an understated genius of comic drollery. A sort of Marilyn Monroe for the 21st century. Marilyn by the way, in my opinion never got her due- check out How to Marry a Millionaire. Re. Ms. Simpson. I don’t know. I just used her name because I’ve heard she is dumb and I wanted to make a point. Or ask a question.
Do you need to be smart to be a good writer? Or do you just need to have a way with words?
All the writers I know are clever people. They’re quick-witted, well-read, possessed of a mordant sense of humor, and usually aware of what’s going on in the world and up to date on pop culture (more so than I am but I’m not an American) but is it important? Is it necessary? Isn’t it more valuable to be able to recognize the big questions we face as humans in life and turn them into poignant stories? To be able to reach out through writing to everyone and do it in such a way that the reader says ‘yes, that’s me’ or ‘I’ve felt those very same emotions before.’
Can you be as dumb as a cinderblock and still be a good writer?
I don’t see why not actually and I’m sure that some of the best-sellers out there are amazingly ordinary people who would bore you stiff if you sat next to them at a dinner party. And why shouldn’t they be?
Writing is a lonely pursuit. Long hours spent hunched over a computer or notebook or typewriter with nothing for company except for your own internal voice yammering away at you. We shouldn’t have to be the life of the party too. And is being inarticulate socially a sign of stupidity anyway? Of course it isn’t.
Somehow at the moment through a social internet network I am simultaneously playing eleven games of scrabble. I am getting my butt kicked on probably half of them and I am resenting the time away from writing because these days it seems as if I can’t summon up more than 50% brain power and 30% full concentration.
Off on a tangent here- when things are going well in the writing department I can completely immerse myself, become deaf and blind to everything around me and look up to find that three hours have passed and I have twenty pages of badly typed prose down and it is the most glorious feeling in the world. It happened quite often with the first book, and with my son who was a sedentary, play-with-the-toys –in-front- of-him kind of baby, and not at all with my daughter (the Lucy Factor) who is more adventurous, death-defying and has made it her mission to fall off of every piece of furniture in the house. I have submerged a couple of times and come back to the surface snorting and gasping only to realize that she is no longer playing quietly on the carpet, feeding the dog her breakfast cereal, but has disappeared and is finally found playing splish- splash in the toilet. So anyway, I can’t do the total plunge because of her. Therefore concentration is a thing of the past or at least while she neglects to be intimidated and obedient when I tell her to “go play with your plastic vegetables and leave me in peace!”. Yup. So we’re looking at about eighteen years of distraction, give or take.
So instead of giving what little time I have to the book I’m being waylaid. As soon as I’ve completed these games I’m going to give scrabble a rest.
Anyway I brought it up because the only way I can justify wasting time online is if it I can pretend it sharpens the brain. And the few minutes it takes to play is about the same length of time that the LF grants me. Time when she is absorbed in something of her own and I can almost pretend that I am alone.
There are some very clever writers out there. Not the kind who write books no one can bother to read because they are just too weighty but genuinely interesting, smart people who inspire and incite. I think it’s nice to expect a great deal from the writers we have put up on a pedestal. Yes, they must write well, but they must be clever and informed and witty too. They are our voice after all. Our voice as eloquent as we wish it could be.
Another tangent- I’m re-reading Philip Pullman’s Sally Lockhart books- Victorian adventure stories with a wonderful gutsy, passionate heroine and I cannot recommend them enough. The themes are pretty strong and graphic so I would say they’re perfect for kids 12 and older but of course, in my opinion, no child should ever be prevented from reading a book on the basis of age.
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DREAMING

This sort of follows the theme of my last blog. I’ve been thinking a lot of the power of the subconscious mind and in particular dreams and that short interval between waking and sleeping which is often a time when snatches of dream are particularly vivid and ideas will suddenly occur to me. Of course I need to be sure to have pen and paper close at hand so that I can write them down otherwise they are as temporary and insubstantial as mists.
I have two or three recurring dreams and I have had the same two or three since I was a child. One is the secret room I wrote about in the last blog.
Another is of flying.
Everyone dreams about flying, don’t they? I hope so. They are glorious dreams yet oddly tiring. The way mine works is that it is exceedingly difficult to get off the ground. It takes immense concentration and will but once I’m about four inches up it gets much easier. Then I can rise and rise and suspend myself on my stomach or my back or shoot straight up and then dive down as if I were in water. I do not dog-paddle- that would be undignified in the ether- but I do steer and propel myself with small motions of my hands. It’s great to have the ability and it comes in handy if I’m dreaming about zombies or vampires when I can travel above the roofs and avoid any unpleasantness. I used to wake up from these airborne dreams quite exhausted with my leg muscles strained and quivery and frequently a headache as if I had been concentrating very, very hard. It would have been interesting to see a video tape of myself asleep. Were my legs scissoring through the air, was I flailing like a beached whale instead of soaring as I was inside my head?
Tiring as they were, they were lovely and I’m so glad I still get to fly even now when real life too often impinges on fantasy.
The other dream is not so nice and it involves tunnels and tons of earth and rock above me as I try to dig my way out of a passageway that becomes increasingly narrower. Do you know those indoor McDonald’s play lands like a gigantic hamster habit-trail for children? Those would be my worst nightmare. The thought of getting stuck in a plexi-glass tube with the oxygen running out. I refused to even take my son to one of them when he was three or four because I was positive he would go up a chute and then need his mommy and I wouldn’t have been able to force my fear aside to go get him. I also didn’t want to introduce him to Big Macs any sooner than I had to.
Curiously the scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where big-boned Augustus gets stuck in the chocolate tube does not trigger my anxiety but I’ll tell you what does.
Alan Garner’s “The Weirdstone of Brisingamen” had a profound effect on me as a child. It and the sequel, “The Moon of Gomrath” are exciting, chilling, fantastic adventure stories for kids perhaps not altogether ready for the epic length of “Lord of the Rings.” They’ve both been re-issued by Harcourt Books. I read them at age ten and I’ve recently re-read them as an adult and they still kept me up at night, chewing my fingernails and prey to a feeling of claustrophobia in my throat.
Here are a couple of excerpts from “The Weirdstone…” where the two children are negotiating a series of tunnels hundreds of feet below the surface:
“They lay full length, walls, floor and roof fitting them like a second skin. Their heads were turned to one side for in any other position the roof pressed their mouths into the sand and they could not breathe. The only way to advance was to pull with the fingertips and to push with the toes, since it was impossible to flex their legs at all, and any bending of the elbows threatened to jam the arms helplessly under the body.”

And a little further along they encounter a sharp bend, a hair pin turn.

“Colin was an inch taller than his sister and that was disastrous. His heels jammed against the roof; he could move neither up nor down, and the rock lip dug into his shins until he cried out with pain. But he could not move.”

Ok, Colin does get out but he spends some time imagining himself as a living fossil and thinking how shocked archaeologists would be to discover him in the future. He is a British child and pragmatic and sees the humor in the most unpleasant situations. The dwarves who accompany them get out too. They may be smaller but they are bulked up with armor and long swords which obviously do not bend when the tunnel takes a 90 degree turn.
This is edge of your seat stuff and it epitomizes my recurring dream. And thank goodness Alan Garner wrote about it so that I never have to confront this demon myself in my writings.
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THE SECRET ROOM

In my present home we have no attic (just a hot and dirty crawl space under the roof) and only half a basement which is wet or flooded most of the year. The house sits on a massive slab of rock so the water table is uncommonly high. No one really has a dry basement around here.
Anyway, problems with building on bedrock aside, what I really wanted to write about is attics and basements. Aren’t they wonderful!
I grew up with both although the basement was really my father’s domain. He had his own bathroom down there with a shower, and his worktable, tool boxes and the tubing and casks and pungent cakes of yeast he used to make wine. But the attic! Oh the wonder of it! Only half of it was finished. A small room at the top of a short flight of stairs, with a tiny window at one end which looked out onto an overgrown garden, the roof beams slanted and exposed, and then on the other side, the rafters about ten inches apart and a temporary floor made out of insulating board so brittle that your foot went through if you stepped on it, and nothing except the rough underside of the roof tiles.
We called the small room, the box room because we kept boxes in it. Mostly boring things like papers and documents which had made the trip over from England but there were photos too of my mum’s ancestors and relatives. Sepia-tinged portraits of bearded men in waistcoats holding round-brimmed hats and walking canes, and ladies with cinched in waists and bodices and bustles in their skirts, and sleepy children too still and clean in their pinafores and knee britches to be real kids. And there were suitcases full of clothes neither of my parents ever wore but were kept anyway. My sister and I played dress-up with them and we made up stories about the people in the pictures and we spent hours in that dusty room at the top of the house. Eventually the other half of it was finished with a proper floor and the peaked walls and roof roughly plastered and painted white. A normal guest room but for some reason there was a walkway left behind the walls, a space about two feet wide that went all around the room, and we used to sneak in there and hide and whisper and peek between the tiny gaps left between where one piece of sheetrock ended and another began, and we’d pretend that we were the rats in “The Tale of Tom Kitten” or the minute people in “The Borrowers” or Liliputians from “Gulliver’s Travels”.
The attic seemed like such a magical place and even as pre-teens and teens it was our favorite spot to hang out with our girl-friends recording made-up songs and advertisements into a primitive tape recorder or re-enacting scenes from our best-loved movies (Grease, The Sound of Music, Escape from Witch Mountain). One of my recurring roles was as Danny Zuko from Grease with my hair slicked back with Vaseline and my collar turned up. The boys had the better songs and the better dances and besides our friend Kate always wanted to be Sandy and wear her mother’s poodle skirt.
But this is about the other room in the attic. The one I still dream about. A room that wasn’t even there except in my imagination but it was so clear and so fabulous in my mind that I could not believe it did not exist. It was similar to the box room which probably added to the realism. The same but different. There were the slanted walls, the small window at one end although in my dreams this one was made of leaded glass with rectangular hand-blown panes complete with air bubbles and occlusions and a sheen like spilled gasoline, and it looked out onto woods and rolling pastures and a winding, brilliant river. And the air was always fresh as if it had just rained, and there was a sweet, balmy breeze. And there were boxes and steamer trunks and valises and mahogany wardrobes. And hoop skirts, and pelisses trimmed in swans down, and bowler hats, and sword sticks, and Malacca walking sticks with silver cobra heads, and scrolls, and maps on paper so old it crumbled at the edges, and compasses in brass cases, and clocks with open backs so you could see the gears and pendulums moving, and books with illustrations in bright jewel paints and gold with tissue paper covering the pictures, and exotic leather bindings embossed with swirling patterns and hidden faces, and peacock fans, and stuffed crocodiles, and varnished puffer fish, and wind-up animals that played musical instruments or walked stiff-legged and then fell over sideways, and lead soldiers, and carved chess sets with pieces that looked like faerie queens and goblin kings, and polished chunks of amber with wasps captured inside, and fossilized wood, and giant ammonites, and teeth from the prehistoric megaladon shark as long as a steak knife blade, and bows and arrows with flint heads, and doe skin moccasins and necklaces heavy with bits of bone and brightly colored beads, and cages with sulfur-crested cockatoos. And a whole lot more.
I loved that room and I spent a lot of time inside and outside of dreams trying to find it again.
I think that room is the reason I love to read and to write children’s books. Adults just don’t have rooms like that.
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FIRST DRAFT BLUES? OR NOT.

I hesitate to write this blog because I am a superstitious being and at this moment things are going really well. I wake in the morning with a smile on my face, ready and eager to sit down at the computer and dive back into my W.I.P. (that is, work in progress.) I hesitate because this is my second attempt at the sequel to “The Curious Misadventures of Feltus Ovalton.” The first was exceedingly difficult to write. I had a very hard time maintaining the flow, plotting, delving into my characters especially the new ones, and yes, I had just given birth to my daughter but she, at 14 months, is even more demanding now and things are still going well. It feels good this time. And I am exulting in my selfishness of spending alot of my time in front of the computer and doing what I love, and writing down everything I think is funny or cool. Not thinking so much about other people at this point.
I blogged quite extensively about the first attempt. Parts of it worked, most of it didn’t, there just wasn’t enough of an idea to hang a story on, and so I had to do what all writers have to do at one point or another. I shelved it. Sections may pop up in future writings. I don’t know. I tend to look back on my writing and see only the weaknesses and the bad writing. I do think that the title (Feltus Ovalton and the Awful Becoming) may turn out to be a fantastic title for the third book but we shall just have to see. I have some small ideas of where I see things going in the future, but flexibility is important because things change so quickly.
Anyway, I am feeling confident enough to say that my WIP is titled “Feltus Ovalton and the Lost Warrior” and that it is going well. I am excited, the Muse whispers in my ear, I wake up in the middle of the night and scrawl notes down, ditto on my morning walk when Lucy, who is slung around my neck, tries to grab the pen from my fingers, I think about my characters all the time and they tell me what they want to say, and it’s FUN! The most FUN in the world.
Check back in a few days and see if I have encountered a sticky part and fallen back into the morass of despair but right now things are going swimmingly with the flow.
When I’m in the morass btw, there is nothing for it but to clamber out and keep going. And sometimes just taking a breather and then going back over some writing that feels wrong, with a clearer eye makes all the difference too.
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Direct Link to No To Age Banding Petition

http://www.notoagebanding.org/

Age-Banding for Children’s Books

Here’s a link to an article from British newspaper, The Sunday Telegraph, regarding the proposal made by most of the large publishers to begin banding children’s books with age-appropriate tags, and what author Philip Pullman has to say about it.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/
2074620/Philip-Pullman-leads-author-revolt-against-age-banding-for-children.html

This would mean, that without prior author approval or input, books would be labelled ,+7, +9, +13/teen and so on.
With so many children turning away from reading I think the last thing we should be doing is to be directing them in any way to the books some authority feels they should be reading at a certain age. Let’s keep it wide open. Let kids read the books they’re ready to read when they want to. Let’s not squash that desire, that joy of discovery, that independence that allows a child to explore and choose their own book. Children vary so widely within their age groups anyway that the proposal is ludicrous. And this sort of smacks as censorship or a set-up for censorship in some way.
I grew up with two teacher parents and nothing was forbidden to me. It was not dictated when I could read a book. I made my way from my bookshelves to theirs in a kind of serpentine, organic ramble picking up books with an avid curiosity and the knowledge that a wealth of discovery lay within my reach. If a book’s themes were too mature then I put that book back on the shelf and came back to it when I was ready. I made my own choices.
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Wednesday Morning Walk

It’s mizzling here- a fine, misty drizzling rain.
There were lots of dead frogs on the road, slipped from their skins like green grapes popping. And a smell below the sodden earth like dirty dish water.
One dead chipmunk, its insides outside, spooling….
(Horrid isn’t it? But apt.)
Elsewhere the air smells fresh. Sodden earth- I’m so grateful on behalf of my tomatoes! The lilacs just past their ferocious bloom. The wild dog roses so soft and sweet.
It’s a day to curl up under the covers…
But I have to go play pat-a-cake with a one-year old and that’s ok too.
(I’m reading the 4th book (Outcast) in Michelle Paver’s wonderful series. Highly recommended.)
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TALES CHILDREN TELL

I remember when my sister and I were young pre-teens and we’d hang out every day after school and all day in the summer with a bunch of kids who lived on our steep little street (one block long with a corner store at one end and an ivy-shrouded haunted house at the other) and ride our banana seat bicycles down this really steep driveway- I think three or four of us had the same identical half moon scar on our chins from crashing at the bottom of it- or race through backyards jumping the fences, or play baseball in the middle of the street or elastics or hopscotch, or try and spook each other out with stories about the apartment building at the top of the hill. I don’t think we ever really knew anyone who lived there. I remember one little girl and her dad who was big and strong and used to carry us on his shoulders and we called him ‘Cereal’ although now I know it was really ‘Cyril’, and they lived there perhaps. But they were gone back to Jamaica in just a few months. We’d trick or treat there on Hallowe’en, lugging our pillowcases and shunning those plastic pumpkin carriers which held a tenth the amount of candy, sticking to a four-block square circuit because otherwise we were outside our turf and liable to get egged or have our treats stolen from us by rival gangs, but even though there were at least thirty apartments on three or four floors, most of the doors would stay stubbornly closed, lights out although we were always sure the residents were standing just on the other side in the dark trying not to breathe until we went away.
Maybe that’s why we started the rumors- years of trudging up all those stairs in the echoing stairwells that smelled equally of pee and chlorine bleach, without much to show for it. When it should have been the site of The Supreme Candy Haul; a veritable Shangri-La of squishy peanut-ty nougat jack o’ lanterns, and chocolate raisins and the golden grail- Oh Henry bars.
Some kid, I don’t remember who- maybe it was Andre or Pierre who had a white streak in his hair that looked like a bird had pooped on his head, or one of Guzzy’s tough older brothers (Sonny, Donny or Lonny) or poor Brenda who had warts- swore that in the parking garage which was sub- street level, there was a corpse in a chair completely covered in cooked spaghetti. I don’t remember if there was red sauce too but I grew up with an Italian father so we just assumed there was. And that made it all the more ghastly because it would be red and dripping mingling with the blood although no one ever mentioned how he died- and sometimes we imagined a single gunshot wound fired by a Mafioso, and sometimes a broken neck and sometimes there’d be no sign of violence at all except for the horrid mess of spaghetti like a tangle of worms and tomato sauce. It was all speculative because we were too scared to ever get closer than the outside door.
Looking back the two things that I remember are that the door was painted green but the paint hung off it in long strips, and that the corpse was always there, sitting in its chair in the dark, and only the tiny details changed from year to year.
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CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS VS. THE UPTIGHT, CLOSE-MINDED PARENTAL FACTOIDS FROM THE PLANET DENIAL

The other day my 5-year old brought home his book wish list from school. They’re having a book fair (probably a Scholastic thing) with an assortment of fiction and non-fiction, picture books and chapter books. I’ve seen the sort of thing in the past and it makes my mouth water. Lots and lots of wonderful books all tantalizingly displayed.
So to preface this little story let me say that ever since he was about six months old we’ve been reading to him. It started with Goodnight Moon, and The Runaway Bunny and Dr. Seuss and has progressed from there. Incidentally, I read Goodnight Moon so many times every night that I could recite it in my sleep, and now five years later when this skill would come in really handy with the LF (Lucy Factor) since I am still sleep-deprived I can’t remember any of it by heart.
So usually he gets 2 or 3 picture books and then a chapter or two of a more mature book every night. He’s had some Roald Dahl, all of the Moomintrolls, even a little Harry Potter, and he’s just waiting for the day when he’ll be old enough (8-12) to read my book.
His bookshelf in his bedroom is crammed full of books because I just cannot resist. Even if we’re budgeting (which of course we are, all the time) I can always rationalize a book purchase for myself, for him, for the LF because they’re good for the brain and there’s such a wealth of good literature for kids out there, from birth to age 18. Now I can even rationalize it more by saying that each book will be read to the LF too so I’m getting double my money’s worth. And she poor child will have nothing but hand-me-downs.
Anyway, he is a kid reared and weaned and fed on wonderful books- Beatrix Potter and Eric Carle, and the Miss Spider’s, and Spot and all the rest. A thorough grounding in all the best the English language has to offer our children.
When he brought home his list, I glanced at it and the prices. Nothing seemed exorbitant and although I didn’t recognize any of the scrawled titles, they were books so I added it up, wrote a check and sent it back in.
The next day, he came home with a bag full and he was chattering away excitedly. I just love seeing him get off the bus with his big backpack threatening to tip him over ‘cause he’s just so nonchalant about the whole thing and he’s only 5, for pete sakes!
Anyway we unpacked the book bag.
He had chosen a book about exotic pets including tarantulas and giant hissing cockroaches from Madagascar.
Two sports books- one about baseball players and the other about overpaid whiny basketball stars, which is totally due to his best friend’s influence since I only follow boxing and soccer, and his father is only interested in motorcycle racing and we don’t own a tv.
A chapter book of the kind derived from an action toy.
And a Captain Underpants book.
Now I will read all of these to him because they are books of the written word; even the sports ones which have lots of glossy pictures and lots of exceedingly dull prose. And I have read Capt. U to him in the past because he fell in love with the toilet humor about the same time he started using the toilet.
But these would not be my choices.
“Why did you pick these, sweetie,” I asked.
“Because Cameron and Patrick chose these ones too. We all picked the same.”
I swear I almost said, “But if your friends were going to jump off a cliff….”
But I stopped myself.
I said nothing else about it because his little face was just lit up as he looked through the stack, and he announced that he didn’t want to watch a video because he wanted to look at his books, and then, my little guy sat at the dining room table while I chopped carrots and he read “Captain Underpants and the Big, Bad, Bionic Booger Boy” to me.
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BIG BLACK BEAR

On our walk up the mountain today (me and the Lucy Factor), a big black bear crossed our path. I, of course, did absolutely the wrong thing which was to back away with my heart in my mouth and the adrenalin spurting, and then almost immediately turn and run back to the driveway outside the spa. Rule #1 (as I understand it) when meeting a bear is not to run. As my husband so thoughtfully informed me later, “They like to chase things.”- sort of like cows I guess; another curious animal. Well, I’m sorry but this is the third bear encounter I’ve had in recent months, they’ve all been large and swift, and I had my baby- all sweet-smelling and milky- like some succulent hors d’oeuvre, strapped to my chest. I tried not to run but my legs wouldn’t obey me. And I had forgotten the umbrella at home , since this was the finest day we’d had in a while. I carry pepper spray, a loud referee’s whistle and a small knife in my shoulder bag but have come to the conclusion that nothing will deter a bear faster than a brightly-colored umbrella opening quickly. The other implements are too problematic and rely on a cool head in a crisis- which I obviously do not possess.The wind could well blow the pepper spray into my eyes, the whistle wakes the baby and the knife, as I used to joke, is only good for hobbling a walking companion so that I can outrun her should we encounter a hungry bear. Unfortunately most of the time I walk alone. Better by far to run.
After a few anxious moments watching as the bear leisurely disappeared into the woods on the other side of the road and feeling sweat collecting and running down my back, we continued up the hill, whistling and singing and banging on the girders and blowing that whistle. I felt like an utter fool and when I ran into the man with the 2 vicious boston terriers (they are like miniature pit bulls with none of the charm) and told him of the bear, he couldn’t have cared less.
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THE MYTH OF THE HUMBLE ARTIST


I recently had dinner with my cousin who is an extremely talented professional art photographer with a gorgeous book coming out soon. We are able to talk about the book profession and publishers and art truthfully without any of the artifice we employ when talking to readers, book store employees or our editor. By this I mean we can admit to each other that we have huge egos. And boy was it a relief to tell her that I honestly I think I’m on par with the authors I admire so much. And she can tell me the same thing- and I am sure she’s right.
In me this is matched by a crippling insecurity from time to time. In her, I’m not so sure. But even when I disparage my own work, deep down I still think it’s pretty good in comparison with whatever else is out there. The plot may need work but I’m pleased with the characters, or vice versa; or it might contain just enough of a spark of something creative and different that makes it worth pursuing. Where I am hardest on myself is when I compare it to what I have written before, what I hope to write in the future, the best work I feel I am capable of. So basically when I say my work sucks, I’m still saying (deep, deep down inside) that it’s pretty good actually for where I’m at in my profession. I’m just saying I can do better. Much, much better.
So what is this weird sort of false humility? And why am I so surprised to see it in myself?
If you’ve read the blog, you know I worked in the music industry for almost twenty years. I was head of sales for a distributor, head of marketing for a few labels, head of a&r for few more labels, and I went to countless conventions (until they got over-run by a different kind of working girl) and shmoozed with the stars and drank a lot of cosmopolitans. And I met a lot of musical artists: Donny Osmond (when he was making his come-back) and Lou Reed (when it was just him and his guitar), George Clinton of Parliament (he sure was funky!) and Tupac (first when he was just a dancer and many times after he re-invented himself) and Ice-Tee and Ice Cube and Sweet Tee and Hi-C; pretty much every rapper out there. And they were all very nice and HUMBLE. At first. But then they’d start to want things: you know special m and m’s, or carbonated spring water from a small spring in the Himalayas, or non-carbonated spring water, or a better shelf-position, or whatever. I even met a couple of artists who referred to themselves in the third person- always a dead giveaway!
I think that if you have the desire to write or draw or sing or rap, you have to have enough of an ego to do it, otherwise you’d just stay curled up in a little ball in the corner of your room beset by the demons of creativity, and whimper your life away. So you have to be able to think to yourself- “Hey I am going to do this. And not only that but I am going to get it out there.” And that’s just dandy but after that it gets worse because egos get fed and then they grow. So say you’re fortunate enough to get published for instance, well then of course you come to expect it to happen again, and you see the other celebrity authors out there getting flown everywhere and wined and dined and having their every whim catered to (I know, there’s what? Like two of those people in the whole world?) and you start thinking that one of them should be you. I mean, don’t we all want our own posse of sycophants?
So in a very short while after getting published you’ve gone from the quiet, grateful sort of author who cannot believe her good luck and just smiles shyly when someone compliments her work to someone who demands worship and accolades and I don’t know what.
I think the ego is good, confidence is good, as long as you do the work and don’t get swept up by all the other stuff cause then how will you know if you’re still reaching as high and pushing yourself as far as you should be? How will you know if your work is getting better and better and you become more accomplished at your craft? How does Michael Jackson know what’s good or bad anymore?
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This Morning’s Walk

Oh the wild dogwoods are in bloom! Each flower like a cup held up to the sun to catch the light.

Two longish blogs coming soon but I am in the throes of the book and have not time for anything else.

My publisher has just launched their fabulous new website and they’re having a big book sale check it out!

www.lobsterpress.com

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Aardvark Ocelot Pangolin

When I was 9 and 10, my best friend was named Miriam. She looked like a very pretty brown mouse. She had tiny, deft hands, and a soft voice with a French accent, and she moved with very precise movements. I was tall and gawky with thick glasses and lank hair of an indeterminate shade of mud. We were mad about animals and we cared not at all for other people. In my memory of that time, I cannot recall speaking to anyone but her. It was as if we lived in a bubble. We were deeply and completely content in one another’s company. Perhaps it’s something that happens more often when we are young. My six-year old son has a special friend and it’s not that he doesn’t play with other boys, it’s just that this one friend is a soul-mate. I like it that he’s so staunch and loyal and unwavering, and that he can proclaim that he loves his friend, and I know it probably won’t last forever, the world being as it is.
My friend and I had a made-up language based on animal names. That is, the proper english species names for the animals of the world- lemur and kinkajou and wombat- not the latin genus. It was all very involved and we had notebooks and notebooks filled with the words and their meanings. I have no idea how we actually constructed sentences since it was pretty much noun-dominated but we committed most of it to memory and we were able to communicate very well with each other. It must have been extremely exclusionary but at the time, that didn’t concern me or Miriam in the slightest.
Our dream was to move to an island- tropical, I believe, and live there and study animals in their natural habitats, and write lengthy books on various species. I thought we’d live on breadfruit and custard apples and all the exotic fruits and vegetables I had read about in Swiss Family Robinson and Pippi Longstocking, and probably Enid Blyton’s adventure stories. I was almost a vegetarian by that time. We’d have had pets- bush babies with their great, limpid eyes and emerald green boas and sulfur-crested cockatoos, tigers, wolves and tiny screech owls. Oh, and a baby elephant. I’m not precisely sure where the island was to be located but it contained a mixture of animals from both hemispheres and they all seemed to live in harmony with each other, and it was free of the presence of any other humans and impenetrable and secret.
When I was almost 12 we moved to England for a year. I don’t remember any tearful farewell. I probably, in the innocence of youth, just expected that when I came back Miriam and I would resume our friendship and nothing would have changed, and I don’t think I did change because although I was on the cusp of becoming a teenager, I remember I had decided to dig my heels in and remain ‘Jo’- still gawky and often mistaken for a boy with my short hair and quietness. And Miriam who was already pretty might have matured faster than me, and we wouldn’t have been friends anymore since girls who take the ‘girly’ route don’t really understand girls who are trying to remain tomboys for as long as they possibly can and don’t want to give up climbing trees and bird-watching and catching snakes. But I never knew because by the time we had moved back home, she had changed schools and I never saw her again.
She did come and hear my mother lecture in Western Canada once. I was at university and deep in the thralls of punk rock-dom- once again in an exclusionary world- and I never contacted her. I think she was studying something to do with my mother’s field- ancient history.
Odd that neither of us ended up in zoology.

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Oh! Scrumptious Language!!!!

Just wanted to post this tiny excerpt because it's one of the few things I've ever been able to commit to memory and I was just reciting it to the Lucy Factor and thinking how absolutely wonderful language is, whether it makes 'sense' or not. Just the sounds of the letters together and the words- oh how they sing! We studied the poem in tenth grade english thanks to my energetic and enthusiastic think-outside-the-box teacher, Mr. Kerslake.

(This is from 'The Jabberwocky' in "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll of course.)

Twas brillig and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogoves
And the momraths outgrabe.

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